Well, another 15 million dollars of tax, sorry, parking money thrown out the bloody windows by our mayor and his team. M. Tremblay et all, decided that Montréalers needed a cure from daily public transit woes, chronic traffic congestions and never ending, debilitating road work and coughed up a cure…wait for it…a downtown bicycle rental service, the deftly named and oh so original; Public Bicycle System!
Stationnement de Montréal, the ones responsible for the parking gougers, have been tasked by Union Montréal to find a new, light transportation “system” that would accommodate all citizens. This company, which makes its living from our love of the automobile, will promote a healthy alternative to the car, zero ecological impact (green is the new black) and bring in a profit. Right. Conflict of interest or blatant hypocrisy?
Behold the BIXI (BIcycle taXI, whoa!), a recycled aluminum, non-gender specific bicycle which can be taken from a rental station, used from points A to Z, then returned to any other rental station, from the Downtown Core and up to the Plateau/ Rosemont areas. Montréal’s First Citizen believes this is a very good idea because it works in Europe. Therefore if it works there then surely it will work here! How could’ve I missed that one. They have narrow streets, exclusive pedestrian lanes, few parking spaces…bloody hell, they’re right! Since we have the exact opposite situation here, then it will be an absolute smash! And he alone carries the burdens of such Insight...give me a moment.
Have you ever seen the cyclists in downtown? Holy shit but are they a menace! They ride on the sidewalks, jaybike with ease, ignore the Road Safety Code and basically piss people off. I’m not taking about the urban guerilla bike couriers, mind, but the everyday University/granola hipsters we so love to hate. The PBS will just add size to one group of idiots and then turn them loose in the streets. Wow, what a plan.
The majority of rentals will be out-of-towners/tourists who will grab at the novelty until they hit the streets and realize how dangerous it really is. Montréal drivers are some of the craziest in Canada, notwithstanding cabbies. Messing with them is not an option. So, now we will have two equally obnoxious, completely different and radically militant groups of retards diverging in the streets of downtown…the body count is about to rise.
True Ville-Marie dwellers will never cycle downtown…they know of at least 5 better ways to kill themselves. From the Notre-Dame bike path going north…it’s all verrryy uphill (the true test of the faint of heart). Never mind the exhaust fumes you’ll be breathing. The whole PBS idea will probably be limited to the Old Port section or Lachine Canal area…which is already over-populated with cyclist and rollerbladers! Yup, lots of coin to be made here! That money should have been invested in Mass Transit. (More on that later)
Aren’t we lucky that Montreal is governed by such learned and sagacious public officials? I mean, of course the “incorporated unique anti-theft measures” is a proven deterrent to crime, just like the Kryptonite locks were. There is no need to point out that the “exclusive design” will obviously prevent the bicycles from being turned into projectiles or weapons during the next Hockey Night riots. Let’s not say anything about vandalism…no, these bikes will “blend harmoniously in the urban landscape” on the strength of their puncture-proof tires alone, right? I mean only cars get knifed or keyed, no? I guess the graffitis and tags sprayed all over them will simply wash off with the morning dew!
Stationnement de Montréal, the ones responsible for the parking gougers, have been tasked by Union Montréal to find a new, light transportation “system” that would accommodate all citizens. This company, which makes its living from our love of the automobile, will promote a healthy alternative to the car, zero ecological impact (green is the new black) and bring in a profit. Right. Conflict of interest or blatant hypocrisy?
Behold the BIXI (BIcycle taXI, whoa!), a recycled aluminum, non-gender specific bicycle which can be taken from a rental station, used from points A to Z, then returned to any other rental station, from the Downtown Core and up to the Plateau/ Rosemont areas. Montréal’s First Citizen believes this is a very good idea because it works in Europe. Therefore if it works there then surely it will work here! How could’ve I missed that one. They have narrow streets, exclusive pedestrian lanes, few parking spaces…bloody hell, they’re right! Since we have the exact opposite situation here, then it will be an absolute smash! And he alone carries the burdens of such Insight...give me a moment.
Have you ever seen the cyclists in downtown? Holy shit but are they a menace! They ride on the sidewalks, jaybike with ease, ignore the Road Safety Code and basically piss people off. I’m not taking about the urban guerilla bike couriers, mind, but the everyday University/granola hipsters we so love to hate. The PBS will just add size to one group of idiots and then turn them loose in the streets. Wow, what a plan.
The majority of rentals will be out-of-towners/tourists who will grab at the novelty until they hit the streets and realize how dangerous it really is. Montréal drivers are some of the craziest in Canada, notwithstanding cabbies. Messing with them is not an option. So, now we will have two equally obnoxious, completely different and radically militant groups of retards diverging in the streets of downtown…the body count is about to rise.
True Ville-Marie dwellers will never cycle downtown…they know of at least 5 better ways to kill themselves. From the Notre-Dame bike path going north…it’s all verrryy uphill (the true test of the faint of heart). Never mind the exhaust fumes you’ll be breathing. The whole PBS idea will probably be limited to the Old Port section or Lachine Canal area…which is already over-populated with cyclist and rollerbladers! Yup, lots of coin to be made here! That money should have been invested in Mass Transit. (More on that later)
Aren’t we lucky that Montreal is governed by such learned and sagacious public officials? I mean, of course the “incorporated unique anti-theft measures” is a proven deterrent to crime, just like the Kryptonite locks were. There is no need to point out that the “exclusive design” will obviously prevent the bicycles from being turned into projectiles or weapons during the next Hockey Night riots. Let’s not say anything about vandalism…no, these bikes will “blend harmoniously in the urban landscape” on the strength of their puncture-proof tires alone, right? I mean only cars get knifed or keyed, no? I guess the graffitis and tags sprayed all over them will simply wash off with the morning dew!
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